It's Funny the way life is...

It's funny the way life is. Yesterday I had a beautiful gift given to me by a dear friend. She isn't an active member, and I have never been one to force her to church. I always believed that when the time was right she would be in church for the right reasons. But I didn't realize that I would be the one to tell her of that time.

 I tried so hard to just be that supportive friend that never got mad if she didn't go to church. Be the friend who would invite but never pressured. I tried to be the friend that lead by example in hopes that she would follow. But when I started texting her telling her it was time to get her back to church, faith took hold of me. 

It's funny the way life is. 

It was right before sacrament, I looked up as we sang a verse of the hymn, and there she was. I'm sure the color (not that my face has much color...thanks Utah winter!) quickly left my face. Tears filled my eyes as she took her seat next to me. I wrapped my arm around her, told her how happy I was to see her, then gave a quick prayer of thanks. It's funny the way life is. 

A few hours after church had finished we began texting. I, again, expressed how happy I was to see her walk through those doors. She teased me for crying, but then became serious when it came to the feelings she had pass through her. She wanted to change her life. She could feel this change within her grasp, but is too afraid to extend her arm and grab it. This was when I realized why I had been through the trials I had faced the past couple of years of my life. It was this moment, that I was being prepared for. It's funny the way life is. 

As we talked, she began to ask how to change. She wasn't sure where to start or what to do. I began explaining my story. That for so long in life I tried to do it on my own. I tried to figure it all out and found that I was barely getting by. I tried to handle temptations, fears, and heart break on my own, but I was never ever enough. I couldn't do it all. I wasn't a superhero with unlimited strength or the ability to withstand and fight all evil. I was/am human. I make mistakes. I fall. I break. It wasn't until I began to tell my story that the thought came to me, "How can The Man who gave up his Only Begotten son, ever let me down?" He allowed His son to die for me. No, not just die, but be tortured and tormented beyond my comprehension; how could He ever give up on me when He allowed all that to happen. I just...never gave Him enough credit. I never...I never give Him the opportunity to hold me and quiet my fears. I never gave Him the opportunity to step in and take over. I was too busy trying to hide my problems, my fears and my worries from the rest of the world that I was also hiding them from my loving Father in Heaven. It's funny the way life is. 

I can't tell you how this story is going to end. Her journey has just begun. But, the future is bright and although life is still hard and will continue to get harder, my faith is deepening and my love for Him who gave all, is expanding. It's funny the way life is. 

Conversion

Being a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints and living in Utah, some may think it is easy to stay along what they call the "straight and narrow". However, surprisingly, it leaves plenty of room to be content with where you are in life and what you are doing with life. For a long time I believed I was on the escalator to Heaven. I believed that life had given me such a bad hand that I should simply be exalted because I somehow found a way to make it through those rough patches and keep on living. I was at a standstill, foolishly believing that I was moving forward. I sat, motionless, and watched those around me move on with life; some got married and moved away, others were having kids, some were starting college, some were serving missions, others returning home from their missions and others had left this life to be reunited by family on the other side. And yet there I was, numb and paralyzed.
I know now what I failed to realize then, the people passing me by worked every day for what they had. They had no days off. The past few YEARS of my life had been my days off. I wasn't willing to work and live for what I believed. I didn't understand that absolutely nothing in this life worth having was going to come for free. It wasn't that I didn't have a job or sat at home all day and did absolutely nothing. It was that I wasn't living my life with a purpose. I was going through the motions of each day, but I was expecting to get somewhere. I simply didn't understand how the smallest of things (praying, reading scriptures, serving, going to all church meetings) would create the biggest changes in my life. The people passing me by worked everyday for those things. They made time for those things. Which is something that I failed to do.  
As I began my journey back, I realized just how content I had become in being lazy with the things that meant the most to me. Simple things like saying thank you to a person who had served me became hard for me to do. I had become bitter and lonely and wasn't ready to accept the fact that my laziness had gotten me there. Temptations became harder. I didn't have the strength to fight most of them, so, for the most part I gave in and became reliant on the fact that I wasn't worthy to go to church or even worse, pray. But as days past, and as I continued to strive to work on me, I soon realized my strength to fight temptation began to grow. I had a different outlook on life. Throughout the day my thoughts would no longer wonder to wants and wishes, but would find their way back to the Savior and his sacrifice for me. I began to crave goodness. I was beginning to understand the Saviors love for me.
 This "work" soon became something I enjoyed and looked forward to. I made friends who were in this "work" with me. They pushed me in ways that I cannot even begin to put into words, but most importantly they loved and encouraged me to be better and do better without even realizing it. For the past few months we have joined forces to come together and rejoice in this "work." Our own personal conversion cast light on others, and has helped them find their way back to our Savior as well. We aren't perfect, nor do we pretend to be, we know that each of us has flaws, but just as our Savior does, we look at them and work to make them strengths.
I feel as though I am a pioneer. I see the temptations, I am aware of the hardships to come, but my faith will be my rock. I know what I am working towards, I know my past and I also know what my future can hold. One of the people I have been blessed to meet in this journey put it perfectly when he said, "I have fallen in love with this gospel, and nothing will ever change or come before it."

Life Lesson #1

I plan to write about things I learn as I get older or even more simple, things I observe. This may be the only life lesson I have, there may be more to come, but I figure I might as well write them down so I have something to reflect on as years pass. 

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I do realize that, that may seem crazy to some.  The idea that such horrific things that this world is capable of, happen for a reason may blow some people’s minds. But what else is there to believe? I would rather have hope in something good than no hope at all. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know the reasons things happen, nor do I believe that I will ever completely understand why they happen but I do know that good can come from every situation we are placed in. That good may manifest itself within minutes of the tragedy or it may happen years later, but the good, nonetheless will come. While talking with a friend today, I realized just how much each of my trials and hardships had changed me and molded me into the person I am today. I can’t imagine being where I am without the trials I have had, and I do believe that I went through those trials in order to help someone else.  I have met so many people in life, some were friends, some were strangers; but they were each in a specific situation that I had also found myself in not too long ago. They were feeling some of the same things I felt, saw some of the things I saw, and were fighting some of the same battles I fought. It brought so much comfort to ME to be able to say “I've been there, I know how it feels” and mean it wholeheartedly. Maybe the comfort didn't come to them, I dunno, I can’t speak for them. But to believe that I went through that particular hard time so that I may help others get through a similar hard time brought me such comfort.  So maybe that is the reason things happen to people. It’s not so much of the whole woe is me, but it is the opportunity to go out and serve someone else with the wisdom and knowledge you gained while going through that hardship in life. With that said, on particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good, but also that there is someone out there that I am fighting that specific battle for. And it is for them that I will triumph.