Conversion

Being a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints and living in Utah, some may think it is easy to stay along what they call the "straight and narrow". However, surprisingly, it leaves plenty of room to be content with where you are in life and what you are doing with life. For a long time I believed I was on the escalator to Heaven. I believed that life had given me such a bad hand that I should simply be exalted because I somehow found a way to make it through those rough patches and keep on living. I was at a standstill, foolishly believing that I was moving forward. I sat, motionless, and watched those around me move on with life; some got married and moved away, others were having kids, some were starting college, some were serving missions, others returning home from their missions and others had left this life to be reunited by family on the other side. And yet there I was, numb and paralyzed.
I know now what I failed to realize then, the people passing me by worked every day for what they had. They had no days off. The past few YEARS of my life had been my days off. I wasn't willing to work and live for what I believed. I didn't understand that absolutely nothing in this life worth having was going to come for free. It wasn't that I didn't have a job or sat at home all day and did absolutely nothing. It was that I wasn't living my life with a purpose. I was going through the motions of each day, but I was expecting to get somewhere. I simply didn't understand how the smallest of things (praying, reading scriptures, serving, going to all church meetings) would create the biggest changes in my life. The people passing me by worked everyday for those things. They made time for those things. Which is something that I failed to do.  
As I began my journey back, I realized just how content I had become in being lazy with the things that meant the most to me. Simple things like saying thank you to a person who had served me became hard for me to do. I had become bitter and lonely and wasn't ready to accept the fact that my laziness had gotten me there. Temptations became harder. I didn't have the strength to fight most of them, so, for the most part I gave in and became reliant on the fact that I wasn't worthy to go to church or even worse, pray. But as days past, and as I continued to strive to work on me, I soon realized my strength to fight temptation began to grow. I had a different outlook on life. Throughout the day my thoughts would no longer wonder to wants and wishes, but would find their way back to the Savior and his sacrifice for me. I began to crave goodness. I was beginning to understand the Saviors love for me.
 This "work" soon became something I enjoyed and looked forward to. I made friends who were in this "work" with me. They pushed me in ways that I cannot even begin to put into words, but most importantly they loved and encouraged me to be better and do better without even realizing it. For the past few months we have joined forces to come together and rejoice in this "work." Our own personal conversion cast light on others, and has helped them find their way back to our Savior as well. We aren't perfect, nor do we pretend to be, we know that each of us has flaws, but just as our Savior does, we look at them and work to make them strengths.
I feel as though I am a pioneer. I see the temptations, I am aware of the hardships to come, but my faith will be my rock. I know what I am working towards, I know my past and I also know what my future can hold. One of the people I have been blessed to meet in this journey put it perfectly when he said, "I have fallen in love with this gospel, and nothing will ever change or come before it."

2 questions

I have a thing for doctors, but it isn't a good thing. In fact, I don't really like doctors. I don't feel the need to go to a doctor unless I am bleeding out of my eyes (it hasn't happened, don't worry)or am being forced or taken by other people (happens a lot, not a big fan of it). However, I recently went to the doctor to get a few things checked out (my mom made me go). While there he asked me 2 question that took me by surprise.

Now, this had been the first time I have met or had ever been seen by this doctor so I was a little on edge. The nurses came and went after asking all the questions they had about my family health history and what not. Since I was able to answer less than half of the questions I realized it is about time to learn more about my family's health. The moment of truth came a few minutes later. As the doctor walked in I held my breath. At the door with a look of disgust he stopped abruptly, took a quick short breath and asked "Did you fart?"  I couldn't respond...the look of horror and complete embarrassment, I am sure, covered my face. I was so nervous I couldn't remember if I had or hadn't! I manged to shake my head "no" and to that the doctor began to laugh, a laughter I will soon not forget.

The second question was the question that really stuck with me and helped me realize just how happy I am when I serve others. The question was simple, "A million dollars, what would you do with it?" Since I was still traumatized from the first question, I wasn't sure how to answer this question either. But now, I think I know how I would answer it. Sure, getting out of debt, paying everything off for my family and possibly taking them on vacation are serious things that I would love to do with that kind of money, but what would truly make me happy would be to give it to people in different, secret ways. Paying for someone's gas, paying for another's groceries, finding a way to pay someone's rent, electricity and gas bills, are just some of the examples I could think of off the top of my head. Things that are usually a must for the life we live in today. Things that are maliciously nagging at us until we pay them off. Those are the things I want people to be free of. I've come to realize that I am truly happiest when I serve others. I sit and cry as I watch people who are truly grateful for a kind act done to them (like watching undercover boss or some of the youtube vidoes floating on facebook) The joy and gratitude that they show cannot be matched. It fills your soul with so much love and warmth that you want to repeat the act that you just witnessed.

The best part of this random act of kindness is that these people have no idea who has done it or why. They have no one they feel they need to repay, they will simply feel as though someone cares for them. Because they won't have anyone to repay, they may just reciprocate the action to someone else. They may reach out and help someone else who may be in need. Can you imagine a world where everyone just took care of each other? I know it seems far fetched with some of the things that are happening right now, but what if that is how we begin to teach our kids. What if we could change the world by teaching our kids to do these acts of kindness? Allow them to see that putting away our own desires and needs to go out and serve someone else can help them learn more about themselves than any other thing could. Call me naive, but I believe it is possible. I may not have kids and I may not be married (or even remotely close to that happening haha) but I do plan, when the time comes, to teach this to someone of this happiness that comes from serving others. Not for the glory of it all, but for those simple tears of gratitude that appear in that person's eyes.

The unexpected

I absolutely love working with kids. Some of the things that come from these young minds is so exceptional, I am astounded sometimes. But, there are, however, those times where all I can do is laugh and walk away. One of those moments happened today.
Allow me to set the scene. One of the kids had messed up a project we were creating (finger painting, kind of hard to mess up) and began to cry. Another student attempted to console her.

Steven: "It's ok Becky...Everyone makes mistakes."

Sharnay: "Nu uh! Not Beyonce!" *walks away proudly, struttin her stuff*

Bless her heart.


Note: all names have been changed for their protection.

Life Lesson #1

I plan to write about things I learn as I get older or even more simple, things I observe. This may be the only life lesson I have, there may be more to come, but I figure I might as well write them down so I have something to reflect on as years pass. 

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I do realize that, that may seem crazy to some.  The idea that such horrific things that this world is capable of, happen for a reason may blow some people’s minds. But what else is there to believe? I would rather have hope in something good than no hope at all. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know the reasons things happen, nor do I believe that I will ever completely understand why they happen but I do know that good can come from every situation we are placed in. That good may manifest itself within minutes of the tragedy or it may happen years later, but the good, nonetheless will come. While talking with a friend today, I realized just how much each of my trials and hardships had changed me and molded me into the person I am today. I can’t imagine being where I am without the trials I have had, and I do believe that I went through those trials in order to help someone else.  I have met so many people in life, some were friends, some were strangers; but they were each in a specific situation that I had also found myself in not too long ago. They were feeling some of the same things I felt, saw some of the things I saw, and were fighting some of the same battles I fought. It brought so much comfort to ME to be able to say “I've been there, I know how it feels” and mean it wholeheartedly. Maybe the comfort didn't come to them, I dunno, I can’t speak for them. But to believe that I went through that particular hard time so that I may help others get through a similar hard time brought me such comfort.  So maybe that is the reason things happen to people. It’s not so much of the whole woe is me, but it is the opportunity to go out and serve someone else with the wisdom and knowledge you gained while going through that hardship in life. With that said, on particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good, but also that there is someone out there that I am fighting that specific battle for. And it is for them that I will triumph. 

Falling for you

Call me heartless, but I cannot help but laugh when people fall/trip. It is something that brings me so much joy that I can't hold it in. Maybe it is the full, raw, and unprocessed face of fear that you are able to see right before the free fall that I find amusing. I can't be certain but I believe that plays a major role. Don't get me wrong, I will ask if the person is OK but that is only after a good hearty laugh. I do not exclude myself from this category either. There have been countless times that I almost fell or completely flopped and had that absolute face of terror, but the difference between me and some others is that I CAN LAUGH. Maybe it's because I am pigeon toed and have grown up falling and tripping, but I feel the only way to handle a mishap like that is to laugh. Because of my pigeon toes and my scarred knees I feel as though I am entitled to laugh at others. Since I have years of experience, I have organized falls into 3 categories:

1) Almost had ya:

• Definition: A person who almost falls but catches themselves before the embarrassing crash to the floor.
• Characteristics: Usually are dumbfound that they could have tripped. Look back to see what they could have tripped over. Stomp around like Hulk trying to regain balance. Don't usually laugh about it unless they see someone else laughing at them. Walk away with a look of relief on their face. 

2) Too cool for school:

• Definition: People who trip or fall but try to play it off cool as if they meant to trip or fall. 
• Characteristics: Afraid to be embarrassed. Check to see if anyone saw what just happened. They try really hard not to allow the fall to happen, but we all know its going to. Walk away like it doesn't hurt but when they are alone they silently sob and rub their injuries. Sometimes fake an injury as a reason for or from the fall. 

3) Serious Relationship:

• Definition: People who trip and embrace their fall in all it's glory. 
• Characteristics: Usually laugh and stay sitting or laying face down on the floor to soak in all the love the floor has for them. Sometimes play hard to get and not allow the fall to happen, but when it does they can't help but feel the same. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/samjparker/people-falling-over-gifs

A blogger...that's the best you got?

Hello world!!

Thank you to those who are choosing to read this. And for those of you who are being forced to read this ( family and friends) thanks for at least getting this far. Ha.

 I've been called many things in life but a blogger was never one of them (my name is Tia..just to make that clear). I haven't been a person who was ever really into reading blogs let alone writing a blog; the whole blogging thing was never my scene simply because of the simple fact that I thought blogging was for those who enjoyed talking about themselves a little too much. We all have that one person in our group of friends who, no matter what the conversation was about, found a way to make it about them. Oh how we love those friends... -_-. My mind soon changed when I found that I had all these thoughts and ideas stuck in my head but didn't want to express them to friends who really didn't want to hear them. So here I am with a blog. The beauty of it all is that you can choose to read. With the click of a mouse you can shut me up or allow me to speak. I just figure, I've been backhanded by life too many times to not write about it. So here is to the good, the bad, and the ugly. To the ups and the downs. To the life lessons and to the simple experiences. We about to get real personal!

Making friends. When you really think about it, is kind of a weird/funny thing. You meet someone you like and then you just do stuff with them. Out of all the people you could have picked you picked this one person usually based on similarities.  Stranger danger goes out the window and we just assume because they like the same stuff you do it is safe to hang out. The beginning is awkward, you usually lie about yourself and pretend you don't fart or burp or do anything else that would turn this friend away from you. However, there are friendships that you feel like you have known that person for years when you first meet. Sharing deep, personal things come easy and they totally understand you and accept you for who you are.
Sadly, with the day and age we live in it seems that these friendships are dwindling due to the technology we have been ever so blessed with. With all the social media at our fingertips our face-to-face conversations are little to none, and the hours we spend on social media sky rockets. I'll be honest, when I see some of my friends in person I cannot for the life of me remember their name but I could tell you their instagram name. My friends and I joke about going around calling everyone by their instagram names. "Hey Nosepickingbecky!(that's a real name, can't make that up!) I saw you posted a pic collage about that pie eating contest. You threw up all over the judges. That was great!" But when I really think about it, that is what our social media is leading us to. No longer will we take advantage of the opportunity to get to really know someone on a deep personal level, because we will be stuck on the life that they portray over the social media. How lonely of a world we will live in if we allow social media to run our social lives. So here is a challenge, go out and meet new people. Introduce yourself. Sure some will think your weird, some may even walk away, if you're in New York you may even get a dirty glare or a slap to the face. But try something new. You never know who you'll meet. It may just be one of those friendships that feels like you've met years before. Give it a shot.